You Were My Dreams
by BlueFireDragon17
Summary: Ginny spent the summer alone, dreaming of him. She knew that he could never be as she dreamed he was; that he would never want her. But when life takes a sudden turn for him, she is the only one he can go to. And both are left wondering what could be. R
1. Dreams of summer

It hurt me, hearing all the things they never told me. All of the secrets they kept under the pretense of protecting me. If I really thought about it, I never should have expected anything else from them. I was just the little girl after all, the little sister that is too innocent to hear any of their shocking, horrifying stories from the forefront of the war. What they didn't know, what they would never realize, is that I'm not as innocent as they believed.

I always knew that I would never belong with them, not as a part of their Golden Trio. They pretended, for their own sakes and possibly mine, that I was just as important as they were. I wasn't ready or willing to give up everything for Harry. I would fight in this war because it was what I believed in. Voldemort was evil incarnate, and every fiber of my being agreed. Fighting him was part of who I was. But I wouldn't do it for Harry, or Hermione or Ron. No, not for them; not for them or anyone else.

No one else seemed to understand when I pulled away and tried to find my own place in school last year. Why would I ever give up a chance to be a part of the most envied and sought after group in the entire wizarding world? I didn't want to be them. I wanted to be me. I wanted to be able to make mistakes and not have the whole world watch and shake their heads. I wanted to be able to get through the year without someone trying to kill me. I wanted to live a normal life for God's sake. I didn't want to have so-called "friends" who kept secrets from me. I wanted to have friends who would put me first on occasion, who would love me for who I was and not my possible advantages to the war. But I gave up and just went along with it, vowing to try harder next year.

Coming back for my sixth year, I realized that making new friends might be harder than I had anticipated. With the possibility that the war was going to reach our doorstep sooner than later, everyone was trying to get into the good graces of the illustrious Golden Trio, hoping for some kind of special protection from what was to come. Everyone except me and the Slytherins.

I sat alone at the feast. I didn't even hear Dumbledore's speech. I was just desperately wishing that he would stop talking soon so that I could eat quickly and run back to my room before everyone else finished. I needed some alone time, more than I had ever known was possible. I had spent most of the summer alone, and being in this crowded room with all of these people talking and laughing around me was overwhelming. Was this what a panic attack felt like? Did it feel like slowly suffocating, like your heart was trying to explode by beating too fast?

I fled from the Great Hall the first second I could get away without having a teacher pull me back. Walking down the hall to Gryffindor tower, I heard the sound of footsteps behind me. I turned to look, but saw no one there. I turned and began to walk again, only to hear footsteps again. Again I turned to look, and again saw no one. "Harry?" I whispered, wondering if he was wearing his invisibility cloak. There was no response. Maybe I'm going crazy already, just from the thought of having to get through this year before I could finally escape the expectations put upon me.

There, there it was again! The footsteps! I whirled around, and caught a flash of platinum blonde hair before I was alone again. Oh, no. There they go. The face from my dreams, or were they nightmares? The face was haunting me now, following me through the halls of Hogwarts when I thought I had left behind at the Burrow with the warmth of summer. The face that had shown up one night as I was sleeping, looking into my eyes with such passion that I thought I had to burst into flames from the heat of it. Night after night, I had the dream. I decided it was definitely no nightmare; a nightmare wouldn't have me waking up trembling with anticipation and sweating from heat, wishing that I had not woken so that I could bask in that look of love and lust. Sometimes, when I had a bad day, the dream would change; he would hold me in his arms and gently rock me back and forth while whispering comforting words into my ear.

I refused to listen to the sound that I was sure I was imagining the rest of the way to Gryffindor tower. I walked through the portrait after quickly saying the password, refusing to turn around to see if the face from my dreams had followed me the rest of the way. I would not think about it anymore. Now that I was back at Hogwarts, that face was guaranteed to show up all over school, not just in my dreams, and I couldn't afford to look at him with the feelings that these dreams had convinced me I must have. I had to forget everything I had pretended he was all summer and begin living in the real world again.

I lay down in my bed and sighed heavily. And fell asleep.

_I was laying in my bed, reading a book I had picked up in Hogsmeade when I had gotten my school supplies for this year called __Twilight__. It was a Muggle book, but it was fantastic. I heard footsteps approaching my bed, but I wasn't afraid. I could smell it, that fantastic scent that only came from him. I smiled as the curtains were pulled back, and there was his face, his eyes so full of love and passion that I thought I might combust. After what seemed like an eternity, he pulled his eyes from mine to look at the title of my book. And snickered. "Are you really reading that? I know it's the biggest thing in the Muggle world right now, but I'm sure you could find a much better wizarding book." I laughed, and the sound of it was light and musical. "You know, you might like it if you would just give it a try. The main male character reminds me of you in some ways, you know."_

_He lay down next to me and pushed my hair back from my face. "Oh, really? And in what way?" he asked, smiling gently._

"_He's beautiful beyond human reason" I gushed out before I could stop myself. I looked away from him, waiting for him to laugh at me._

_He lifted my chin with his finger and looked me in my eyes. "Is that how you see me?" he asked, with genuine curiosity._

"_Yes, that's how I see you." I tried not to blush, but I couldn't help it. And then his eyes flared with lust again as his lips covered mine, making my heart feel like it might beat out of my chest again._

I woke with a start. "Oh no, not again" was my only though.


	2. Return to Real Life

I could barely concentrate during my first day of classes. I was so exhausted after last night's repeat of my summer dreams. After I had woken up, I was so upset that I couldn't fall back to sleep. I wanted it to be over! I had really thought that once I returned to school, the dreams would disappear. I wanted them to. I knew consciously that Draco could never be that way; that kind, gentle and loving to me. He would never want to sit with me, laugh with me, or kiss me. He would only hate me, the way he hated all Gryffindors. My subconscious had to accept that and move on. These dreams gave me feelings; feelings I knew I shouldn't have for the Slytherin; feelings that probably weren't real, but were so incredibly intoxicating. Oh, for heaven's sake! I was falling for a dream!

Thankfully my schedule for the first day was light; Herbology, Care of Magical Creatures, Divination and Muggle Studies. Most of the professors spent the class time stressing the importance of working hard and studying so we would be prepared for the NEWTS. Hagrid had us identify different animal tracks on the school grounds, and didn't seem to notice that I hid in the back, not answering a single question. The second each class was over, I ran out to get to my next classroom and claim a seat in the back.

When all of the day's classes were finally over, I went to the Great Hall, ate quickly, and went back to my room. It felt like the day had taken a year, and I desperately needed sleep. And of course, last night's dream repeated itself, waking me up long before I needed to be up for my first class of the day. That was the routine for the next week: wake up, go to class, try to stay awake enough to take notes, eat something, struggle through homework, sleep.

Thankfully, I hadn't seen Draco the whole week, and by Friday I'd only had the dream once more. Maybe, just maybe, I'd finally be rid of them. By this point, I'd screwed up my sleep schedule so much that Saturday morning I woke up at 5am.

I yawned as I shuffled to breakfast. The Great Hall was, unsurprisingly, almost empty. I walked over to the Gryffindor table and sat down. I looked up to see what was being served, and caught _him_ out of the corner of my eye. Oh, no. This was really the last thing I needed! The dreams had finally, blissfully stopped, and I wanted to keep it that way. Or did I? I had felt so cold and lonely after waking up without the false memories of him that the dreams imparted.

Did I dare look at him? Did I dare let him read something from my face that would become the butt of the Slytherin jokes? I could see it now. "Oh, look boys, the Weasel wants the Slytherin Sex God. Ha! Like I would ever debase myself to that level!"

Groaning, I leaned my head onto the table in front of me. What was the chance that I would even get that much of a reaction from Draco? More likely, he'd look at me, laugh, and return to his meal, never to think about me again. And why did that thought hurt me more than the thought of him making fun of me?

"Snap out of it Ginny!" I said out loud to myself. I lifted my head off the table…and shrieked. Sitting there, right across the table from me, was the Sex God himself. And he wasn't laughing. Actually, he looked...almost afraid. I saw his eyes dart back to the Slytherin table, and mine followed. It was completely empty.

He looked back at me with the same slightly panicked look. "Are you friends with Harry still?" he asked me. Well, more of a demand for an answer than a question, really. "Umm, why would you want to know?" I asked nonchalantly. My heart was pounding and I thought I was going to throw up very soon. What the Hell was he doing, sitting there, asking me questions? Had the world gone mad since I'd arrived at Hogwarts?

"Just answer the question Weasley!" he spat at me. Oh. Well. It seemed he wanted an answer, right then and now. "Well, no…" I answered slowly. "I honestly got tired of it all." As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I realized he was pulling me up from my seat and dragging me across the Hall. In a daze, I tried to pull my arm from his 

hand, but to no avail. "Hurry up!" he snapped at me. "They'll be coming for breakfast and they can't see me with you!"

As I ran with him, I had a thought. Why was he worried about who saw me with him? I would have thought he would be more concerned about who saw him with me. We ran down the hallway and into a corridor. We kept running for quite a while, and I suddenly felt myself being jerked around a corner. He threw me into an unused classroom. I heard the door slam and a plethora of wards and spells being put on it. I found a desk and sat on it, turning towards where Draco was practically screaming out protective spells that I'd never heard of. With each one, he seemed to relax a bit more. Finally, he turned to look at me.

"I'm going to tell you about what happened to me this summer. You cannot repeat to anyone, from any house, any of what I am about to tell you. Do you understand?" I stared at him. "Why are you telling me, of all the people in this castle, something that you don't want anyone in the world to know?" I didn't understand. It was almost unfathomable, in all honesty. Draco Malfoy, the smooth, suave, unshakable king of Slytherin, wanted to confide in me. I had a sneaking suspicion that this was not going to help me keep the plaguing dreams away.

I stared at his face. "Why, Mr. Malfoy, would you choose me out of all the people in this castle, to confide in?"

He turned away, and walked over to the window. He sighed heavily, and turned to face me. "Because, crazy as it sounds, I think you may be the only person in this place I can trust."


	3. The Truth

A/N- Sorry it's been so long, my muse seems to have been on hiatus for a while. I dragged her back, kicking and screaming. Please review, so that I know what I'm doing right and what needs work.

He looked exhausted; that was rare enough in and of itself. But he also had a look on his face that was wholly unbelievable for Draco Malfoy: fear. And just a hint of desperation. It was that look of fear that made me realize there was something more to this situation than I had originally believed. This wasn't just Draco going nutters and dragging me off to some room of the castle to torture and possibly murder me. He might actually have a problem. But I still didn't understand. "Draco, why do you think you can trust me? Honestly. What makes you believe that I won't run from this room and go tell Harry or Dumbledore everything you tell me?"

His reaction shocked me. "I don't know!" he screamed. "I'm on the fucking edge here, on the verge of just making it all fucking go away! I have been since the day we stepped foot on the train. And then I saw you, and you were so different. You weren't hanging on bloody Potter's every word; hell, you weren't even paying attention to him or the rest of his Potter pals. You looked like you just wanted to get the fuck away from it all, like you didn't want to live for him or this bloody war or in fear of my father and his gang of merry men every second of every day. And now I'm standing here praying to whatever God there is that someone in this world doesn't want me dead or serving them and their insane leader."

He stopped screaming and took in a few haggard breaths. I sat quietly, waiting for him to go on. He continued, slightly calmer now. "Ginny, I can't trust the Slytherins and their undying devotion to following Voldemort's ever whim, and everyone else thinks I'm a traitor to wizard kind and wants me dead. Nobody wants to hear me out, and nobody cares what I want." He looked so broken. My father wants me to be the insane snake man's next right hand man. He wants me to take the bloody fucking mark, literally enslave myself to a psychopathic madman. I don't want to. I don't want to follow him, my father, and the Death Eaters down a bloodstained path to a sure Hell. But I don't want to follow Potter and his golden disciples to their glorious victory. I just want to be myself and not have everyone want me dead. Is that really so much to ask?" He stared at me, his gray eyes burrowing into my head.

"No," I said slowly. "No, I don't think it's too much to ask." I looked away from him before my soul caught fire from the intensity of his gaze. "It's strange, really. I thought you and I, seemingly the most opposite people on the planet, could actually have something in common. You, the wealthy, stalwart prince of Slytherin, sex god to the school, seemingly devout follower of the bringer of the Apocalypse; me, the poor, quiet, mousy Gryffindor, seemingly devoted to the savior of wizardkind. Yet, here we are. Because you just want to be yourself and follow your own path, and coincidentally, that's all I want from my life right now too." I finally looked back up at him. "I know that I changed this summer. But what happened to you? What made you change your mind?

He sat down on the desk next to me and sighed heavily. "It was a long time coming; I can see that now, but then, I thought I had all the time in the world. I thought I would be able to graduate, maybe even attend a year or two at a university before I had to make any kind of commitment to Voldemort. I didn't recognize my father's actions towards me as the training it was. He wanted me to be the youngest 

Death Eater to be initiated. He wanted me to be steadily rising through the ranks by the time the rest of the candidates from my year were just being initiated. He wanted me to be Voldemort's spy at Hogwarts for my last year." He paused and looked into my eyes. "He wanted me to take the mark before the end of the summer."

I consciously stopped my eyes from going to his right arm. "What happened next, Draco?" I asked quietly. He rolled his eyes up to the ceiling, arching his back as he did. "He took me with him to one of the meetings. I was excited; this was the first time I was to meet Voldemort, and I couldn't wait. I wanted to make my father proud, and make a name for myself during that first meeting. It seems so stupid and childish now, even though it was only a few months ago. God, I feel like a different person now! I was so sure that I wanted to follow in my father's footsteps, and do everything he wanted me to. I was so sure that I was going to live happily ever after, being Voldemort's right hand man after he won the war, helping to lead the new world. I can't believe that I ever thought I wanted all of that; wanting to do Voldemort's bidding for the rest of my life." He shook his head back and forth quickly, as if to shake the thoughts out of his mind.

"Anyway. Back to the meeting. We arrived at the secret destination, and were immediately whisked off to a private room. Voldemort was sitting in this huge chair, almost like a throne, when we entered. This was my first view of him, and I was horrified. He didn't look human. He looked like some horrible monster. His eyes were slits, and he didn't have a nose, just two holes where it should have been. He had no hair, and his skin looked like scales. But I pretended not to notice any of these things. My father bent down and kissed the hem of Voldemort's robe, and I followed his lead. He remained kneeling, and introduced me. 'My Lord,' he said, 'This is my son, Draco Malfoy. He is willing and eager to serve you; to do whatever it is that pleases you.' At this point, Voldemort surveyed me. He seemed to find no flaws in me, outwardly at least. Then, he cast Legilimes, and searched my thoughts and memories. Seeming pleased, he ended the spell. Then he laughed, as terrifying a sound as I had ever heard. 'Lucius, I do believe that we can use this boy.' My father beamed at me with pride, for the first time in my life. 'Why thank you, my lord. I hope my training of him will make him suitable for your purposes.'"

Draco stopped and looked around the empty classroom. His eyes finally landed on me. "Do you know what it feels like to realize that you are loved, finally, and only because some crazy man has deemed you worthy?" I shook my head. "No, and I can't imagine what that would feel like. My family is poor, but love is one thing that is never in short supply. I suddenly found myself filled with overwhelming pity for this boy who had everything in the world but the one thing that mattered. Then I surprised him and myself by standing up, walking over to him, and throwing my arms around him.


End file.
